Chivalry isn’t dead…it’s just waiting to be woken up

“Chivalry is DEAD” 20+ year old girls like to say.  They take a sip from their cosmopolitan and give condescending glares to the men walking by their tables at some busy upper scale restaurant in some nameless city.  The men walk by not noticing them, and infuriate the women even more.  “What an ass.  See, who doesn’t even look at me.”

Romance can be a funny thing when you’ve been told one thing and think that way your entire life.  Ever since the early 90s schools have been educating kids to believe that they are “special snowflakes”- they’re smart, beautiful, can get any boy/girl they want, and can do anything if they set their mind to it.  In middle school and high school this was supposed to counteract the self-esteem most kids suffered with from overactive hormones, bullying, and rejection they might feel from their peers.  But once these kids got to college, the harsh reality that no one cares about the other person because they believe they’re all special snowflakes set in. 

Here is where the paths of men and women split.  In high school, social groups were already established at an early age before much of this teaching really sat in.  For instance a girl would have already had her group of friends that she was friends with since 3^rd grade and they were bff’s until graduation.  In that group, each girl was important to one another, and even though they talked behind each other’s backs they still were friends in the end.  They all experienced the reality that sometimes guys don’t like you, or maybe not getting into the same college as the other and felt their hearts break at each and every turn.  But still, in the face of all adversity their group of friends and parents would all console them with that same general message- “Don’t let some guy/school bring you down.  You’re a great girl, and have a lot to offer.  You are very special and will find the right guy/school soon.”  This type of consolation continued even into college as these girls found new friends. The more rejection these girls got, the more delusional they became in their expectations.

In contrast, guys adversity was generally not faced with this same optimism eventually once we got to be around 16 or so.  If the girl we liked didn’t like us back, we didn’t get on the football squad, we didn’t get into the school we wanted, etc., our message was along these lines: “Why do you think you didn’t get what you wanted? What can you do to improve so that next time you’ll be able to get what you want?”  If “what we wanted” was a girl, generally friends would say something like “that sucks dude” and that was it, or joke and say “probably because she doesn’t want some guy that still dresses up like a robot on the weekends”.  This message of self-betterment came from our parents, our friends, our family, our professors, anybody we came in contact with because they were trying to prepare us for the real world.

The second downfall of the “special snowflake” theory is what happens when everyone thinks they are a special snowflake i.e. all women? The problem with the theory is that it never really emphasizes the idea that “Yes you are a special snowflake, but so is the person next to you.  So what can you do that makes your snowflake prettier?” In a blizzard, all snowflakes look the same. The only way to appreciate each individual snowflake is if that snowflake falls slowly to you, and goes into the palm of your hand.  In other words, the snowflake comes to you, shows you who it is and why it should be appreciated.

So how does this translate into the dating world? Ask any girl what they require of guys and they all say the same things: tall, handsome, smart, a gentleman, etc. Many even have much stricter requirements that demonstrate nothing about a personality by saying they won’t date a guy unless he pulls a chair out for them, opens doors, buys them dinner, buys roses on the first date, etc.  As you can see, all of these things are investments that a guy must make for the girl before he even knows a thing about her. In a society where women cheat as often as men and there's not guarantee that this woman is who she says she is, is actually single, is worth it, etc. it's no wonder guys are so cautious. In our eyes, that's basically the same as some random person from the street coming up and asking for us to buy them dinner. We have no idea if your worth an investment yet, so why would we want to take that step?

The next and final point that needs to be made is that guys aren't necessarily looking for what it is you are selling. The cosmetic industry brings in $170 billion a year by girls believing that putting ground up rust and insects on their face will make them more attractive, thus increasing their value, thus hoping guys will be willing to believe they are investing in a great product. The same techniques have been used since people began trying to trade things with one another- they'll wrap something up in a pretty cloth or put it in a pretty box to hide what is really inside. In the dating world it's called "beautification", but in the real world it's called "lying". Sure, some guys have different opinions on makeup, but the general consensus usually lies around the realms of not much to none at all. It's not just makeup that I'm talking about either as it goes to clothes, hair, jewelry, anything that is purchased to make you feel/look beautiful. All of these things are superficial and can be used to misrepresent what is really inside that pretty box.

Going back to the situation earlier about women believing they are entitled to a man to spend money on them, open doors, etc., this is the same as saying you would go out to a store and buy a new TV without seeing the TV outside of the box(her personality), the picture quality(her quality as a person), without seeing how much it is(is she worth the amount of effort), and without even asking anyone about the TV(talking to friends/her friends about her)...but just buying the TV because it had a duck on the box and ducks are funny. In the end, you don't even know if that was just a display box and nothing was actually inside of it! In love ladies call this "romantic", but in real life this is called "fucking retarded".

So ladies, please understand when guys don't jump at the opportunity to spend money on you, or to pull out your chair when you guys sit down at the restaurant. Because it's not that we don't want to believe you're a great person, it's just that we've seen many blizzards before full of snowflakes- and it's been a long winter.