For those of you who play online games, you know the scenario- you are playing with your friends, and you guys are doing the right thing in all of the right situations-you're dominating the other team, on killing sprees, taking down towers, capturing points, etc. But then that asshole pug on your team is feeding and throwing caution and logic to the wayside in favor of dicking over you and your friends. I play League of Legends, and before this played basically every MMO, the main one being Guild Wars. But regardless of what game, the vent/skype/teamspeak convo always went something like this:
"Okay I'm going in for a gank. Push up."
"Alright I'm gonna stun him."
"For fuck's sake, what the fuck is this god damn fucking kid doing? He's not pushing up with us...dude he's running away! I fucking pinged to hit him and he didn't help us at all! Now I'm dead. God this kid is a macaroni artist."
We all do this, myself included. Obviously, the kid who was not part of our group was drooling over his keyboard and struggling to tie his shoes to his hands while he was playing League of Legends...no other explanation right? Sadly as much as I'd love to say this is true (because it would make things a lot easier for us to always have a skapegoat) the truth is that these people may not be as retarded we accuse them of.
When gaming, it seems that you and your friends generally have some kind of sacred pact between each other. When one of you does something wrong, it's "Oh that's okay, he's usually pretty good. He just made a mistake". Or when your friend gets zero kills in a game and dies nineteen times, you get slightly frustrated but you'll tell them "Don't worry about it man, everyone has a bad game." Flip that to the other side though, and you see that if your friend was playing on an account that you didn't recognize the name of and weren't in a call with them that you would be raging THE SHIT out of that kid. Why? Because you don't know him, so naturally you assume the worst.
This doesn't even change if you're on a call with someone you just met from the game before. For those unfamiliar, this is how online gaming friends are generally made. You go into a game, and if you win, then all those guys are probably good guys- the types of guys you could have a beer with. Some of these guys might have done exceptionally well, others might have been saying funny things in the chat. Either way these guys, even if they did feed a bit...you give them the benefit of the doubt that they're decent people at the end of the day. This is what leads to you adding them to your friends list, and playing future games with them. Now these relationships are like real relationships in that some people are more open to socializing with new people than others, and some people prefer to stick with their same group of friends that they play with every day.
With that in mind, you obviously don't really know this person you just played a game with. But let's say you go into the next game with this person, and invite them to a skype call (or your vent, or whatever). As soon as you get in, this person starts playing like an epileptic penguin at anime convention. Most likely, we maintain the decency to not say anything...we even try to reason with ourselves that this person is just having an off game, and try to give them the benefit of the doubt.
This type of thing happens to everyone in online gaming, and gets even dicier when you start bringing them around your other online friends. Your other friends might not feel the same way you do about this person because they didn't see that game where they went 20/2 on Lux (a League of Legends character). If your existing friend is a true friend, he will be honest and tell you that kid sucks cock and to never let him in your vent server again. But sometimes that existing friend will still give that new person a chance to "prove themselves" to the rest of the pack.
There are several elements at play here. The first is the sunken cost fallacy- this states that after we have invested resources (in this case, a friend request and time playing the game and talking together) into something that we try to justify our decisions even when clearly it's a lost cause. Think of it like this- you buy a new ipod. The mac genius or whatever they're called at the store tries to tell you that you should get the warranty with it for another $80. You figure you've already spent $300 on the thing, so what's another $80? Before you know it, you've sunk an extra $200 into shit you didn't need in the first place...all on the grounds that because you already put money into it, so you "might as well" keep going.
The other thing that comes into play is the fundamental desire for approval and praise. When you show your friends a new toy/friend/girl/whatever you want them to tell you "Oh, what a fine find you have there! You really have an eye for these things!" So we try to build up the person we found as some gift from God himself in neckbeard form and call him the Messiah. When in reality, that game you saw him go 20/2 Lux he might have just been playing against some Brazilian in a grass hut on his Compaq from 1998.
So the real point I'm trying to make is that it's funny how just because you have communication means with someone and even a very brief history that you give the person even the slightest chance at not being a piece of shit. Just think about this the next time you see some random make a noob mistake and your friend...if it weren't for friend lists and skyping that that kid would be the bane to your existence for 30 minutes.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
The Gender Wars(and why they'll never end)
I hate to do a topic even remotely similiar to one that I just wrote about last week, but this article was on CNN today and it seemed completely irrational. For those of you not rushing over to check out the rantings of this needlessly large ex-Secretary of Education had to say, then allow me to paraphrase: basically he was saying that women have come a long way in terms of obtaining an education and developing their own careers...which by all means is great for them. However, he goes on to take a shit on men (especially between the ages of 18-34) of how we don't obtain as high paying jobs, we aren't as highly employed, and we're socially immature (with all of our video game playing, women banging, etc.)
Females reading this will respond with a resounding "Hell yeah dat shit's tru!" as they read through the CNN article watching their Big Brother or Real Housewives of Who Gives a Fuck. The point isn't so much that these facts exist, the issue is the old idea that statistics can literally say anything.
In 1950, 5% of men at working age were unemployed, while today that number is 20%. The article fails to mention the number of women employeed today but the point is irrelevant since their primary role in those days was to be a housewife. What this doesn't account for are the various policies that companies have implemented and other types of government legislation that have come about since then. The climates in the working world are much more cautious about these things now, and have implemented variations of Affirmative Action to ensure that their work place is balanced. Now obviously there are implications from that like let's say a white man and a woman (of many race) both apply for a job with a similar GPA, work experience, etc. That job most likely will go to the woman, especially in IT, where women are becomming a scarce resource.
The issue that he raises with the social immaturity- how men are more immature these days and spend too much time on video games, listening to music, etc. is kind of an irrelevant argument. Guys back in the 50s-70s might not have had video games that they wasted their days on, but think back to those times (at least what you see in movies and such)- those guys loved the SHIT out of fishing, hunting, drug use, and cars. Now how is that much different than today with more guys being into video games/into technology, being musicians, etc.? These things that he complains about are called "hobbies", and generally they're things that people do in their free time.
The main point of this isn't really to defend guys necessarily, because that's just too overdone and never really results in anything. The real point I'm trying to make is that these arguments can never really go anywhere, because nothing constitutes as the majority when you're referring to an entire gender as "being lazy", "less employed as compared to women", because the researchers never examine the issue any further. They never look at the "why" of why men are less employed than they were before...they just leave it to the reader to deduce that it's because of the second statistic they present, the percentage of men who play video games. It's a complete inductive logical fallacy and that is why these "Fuck This Gender It's Gay" articles will never hold any weight.
Females reading this will respond with a resounding "Hell yeah dat shit's tru!" as they read through the CNN article watching their Big Brother or Real Housewives of Who Gives a Fuck. The point isn't so much that these facts exist, the issue is the old idea that statistics can literally say anything.
In 1950, 5% of men at working age were unemployed, while today that number is 20%. The article fails to mention the number of women employeed today but the point is irrelevant since their primary role in those days was to be a housewife. What this doesn't account for are the various policies that companies have implemented and other types of government legislation that have come about since then. The climates in the working world are much more cautious about these things now, and have implemented variations of Affirmative Action to ensure that their work place is balanced. Now obviously there are implications from that like let's say a white man and a woman (of many race) both apply for a job with a similar GPA, work experience, etc. That job most likely will go to the woman, especially in IT, where women are becomming a scarce resource.
The issue that he raises with the social immaturity- how men are more immature these days and spend too much time on video games, listening to music, etc. is kind of an irrelevant argument. Guys back in the 50s-70s might not have had video games that they wasted their days on, but think back to those times (at least what you see in movies and such)- those guys loved the SHIT out of fishing, hunting, drug use, and cars. Now how is that much different than today with more guys being into video games/into technology, being musicians, etc.? These things that he complains about are called "hobbies", and generally they're things that people do in their free time.
The main point of this isn't really to defend guys necessarily, because that's just too overdone and never really results in anything. The real point I'm trying to make is that these arguments can never really go anywhere, because nothing constitutes as the majority when you're referring to an entire gender as "being lazy", "less employed as compared to women", because the researchers never examine the issue any further. They never look at the "why" of why men are less employed than they were before...they just leave it to the reader to deduce that it's because of the second statistic they present, the percentage of men who play video games. It's a complete inductive logical fallacy and that is why these "Fuck This Gender It's Gay" articles will never hold any weight.
Friday, September 23, 2011
The Truths of Dating
For those of you who have known me, I’ve been single for a couple years now and it has its good days and bad days. Through this journey of singlehood I’ve made several attempts at the dating game and picked up some knowledge from my friends and experience. Sometimes the dates go really well and they result in another date. But other times for one reason or another that initial curiosity and interest dies out like fate taking a leak on our life’ sparkler. Sometimes this would leave me disappointed as I would sit at my desk and I’d feel it vibrate, only to find that it was the cubemate next to me’s phone and I’d see that big empty status bar on my phone laughing in my face (you see, the desks are joined at these walls that make up the cube, and so if a phone rings on one desk, the vibration can be felt several desks down…it’s an elaborate network of shame and embarrassment.)
Kind of like ABC Family
I was always in a relationship from middle school til mid college and so I had the whole “being in a relationship” thing pretty much mastered (maybe I’ll do a post on that some other time called Relationships: Even an Asshole Can Be Good At This Shit (working title)). So when it came time that I was off on my own, junior year of college I was pretty much the Level 1 Warrior with a wooden dick in my hand killing wolves for their pelts…I didn’t ask questions I just did as the quest givers (my friends) told me. Through all of that experience, I found that sometimes my friends are full of shit and I just needed to experience things on my own. In lieu of this revelation, I present to you the story of my turning from clueless white kid with literally zero swagger into…well a guy with some idea of what a vagina is.
#1. Don’t Give a Shit
This is probably one of the biggest pieces of advice I had always been told by members of both sexes. They’d say things like “Just play it cool” or “Wait a while before you respond to her texts” or “Thwap her in the face with your boner throwing caution to the wind.” These things are all true (especially the boner thwapping) and important to remember as you go through the stages of dating.
Stage 3: The "Remember That That Time You Didn't Pay Attention To Me When We Started Dating?" Stage.
Say you just met a girl through some normal way of meeting girls- subway, the internet, Rule-34 convention…most likely you’re going to have to communicate with her at some point again if you want to see her down the road, right? So what do you do? Why, treat her like a princess, of course! I remember the first piece of advice when it came to girls came from my mother- If you want a girl to like you, just be nice, polite, and caring. In theory this sounds logical because you’d be doing several things that would be interpreted as the following to a rational human being:
1. Demonstrating interest
2. Showing you have a soft side
3. Letting her know you know how to function in society
But unfortunately, because of how women think this becomes interpreted as the following:
1. I haven’t done anything yet and I already have this guy’s full attention
2. My life has drama…oh god does it have drama. Oh so you’re caring? Let me tell you about how much of a bitch Jenna is.
3. You pulled out my chair for me? Hey, can you carry my….everything?
You will get eaten alive if you keep up being the nice guy for too long. This is generally how guys fall into the “just friends” zone and once you’re there believe me, you never get out. I know how a lot of you guys are thinking when you hear this advice too. You tell yourself “Oh (desired girl) is different because she’s really sweet, smart and down to earth. She totally can see what’s going on and we don’t have to adhere to those social boundaries other people fall into.” But the truth is that she may consciously realize that you’re being nice and that usually girls trample over guys like this, and then she’ll tell herself “Oh I’m not like that. Some girls may abuse his compassion and lead him on, but not me.” But in the end all of that is just bullshit because they will still unload things on you whether they mean to or not, because you are available and are just a ball-less sponge sitting across the table from them.
Trust me, I’ve been in the situation countless times where I’ve thought a girl was different because she was the intellectual type, or even girl’s I’ve gone out with who were god damn psychology/sociology majors. You will be able to talk to them on an intellectual level about why people behave the way they do, existentialism, even how women seem to be attracted to assholes because they see it as a sign of dominance and yet the results are always the same…as soon as you start showing that you value their opinion this early in the relationship you’re essentially kissing that chance of seeing them doing reverse cowgirl to you goodbye. Sure you can ask what hobbies they have, if they have pets, etc. but really try to limit the amount of questions you ask that could invoke opinions, and for God’s sakes don’t ever ask for advice.
Now you went through your first date of getting to know the person, but not getting too overly excited about her right? Great. Now it’s time to not text/call/telegram her for the next several days. Let her wait and think about how the date went, then let her start thinking about why you’re not asking her how her day is going. If she texts first with a “What’s up?” or “How’s it goin?” you can just let that sucker slide by, or you can answer with a simple response like “not much” or “pretty good.” (or if you’re the classier type, “dicks” is also an acceptable answer). The key here is to show that you’re not thinking about her too much because think about it…she is barely more than a stranger so why would you be? It’s important to distance yourself from the situation and just chill. You’ve been single for a while and you’ve been managing to not stalk girls while wearing your trench coat and glasses-with-nose-and-mustache disguise, right? Right guys? Which brings me to the next point…
#2. You Don’t Need to Be In A Relationship
I used to honestly believe that I was always happier in a relationship. Think back now to the time when you were in a relationship you were happy in. Do you have picture of you two driving around in your car with some song playing you both like and laughing and singing to each other like the carefree lifestyle of the 1950s? Or how about the picture of you two snuggling up in bed together for a nap while you listen to the rain hitting off the roof? Those images are about as reliable as Used Knife Salesman who’s trying to also get you to come with him to his new Church on Tuesday nights where they drink Purple Kool Aid and worship the teachings of Gary Busey.
Sugar, Water, Purple...and Garey Fucking Busey
We have a habit of commonly putting on rose-tinted glasses when we look back on our lives because we naturally don’t want to remember things that bring us down. So for all of those times you were holding hands as you skipped down the street to go see “Inglorious Basterds” and drinking a boob-flavored beer, there were just as many times where she was whining about you playing video games, not remembering that she obviously was out with Kristen that Friday night three years ago and not Krista, and “your favorite TV show is bullshit so we’re watching The Bachelor”.
Hey, you know when you don’t need to deal with that shit? When you’re single. Believe it or not, when you’re in a relationship, all of your problems are not automatically solved. Sure, you have a warm body to fall asleep with every night, someone who shares the stress that comes with living, a person who may actually think your opinion kind of matters. But that same person will at times get pissed at you without telling you why and “think it’s best if she went home instead of sleeping over”, be giving you the stress that she was supposed to be helping you get over in the first place, and come to the conclusion that it’d pretty much be the greatest thing ever if you didn’t exist.
Like I said before, I’ve been single for a couple years now with varying degrees of dating involved since then. All of that time I was thinking of my previous girlfriends and how great it was that I had that one person who cared about me in a way that no one else did, and someone who I could always depend on to be up for going out somewhere…my Partner In Crime (All together now, “AWWWW”). I got seriously depressed thinking about this, and I mean seriously. I was to the point where I didn’t give a shit about my friends because I saw them as all replaceable things since they all cared for me in the same way, I would drink because “Fuck it”, and I would stay at home alone every weekend because “Girls out there are shit and don’t appreciate me for who I am like (previous girlfriend) did.”
Eventually, out of entertaining the idea that “hey, maybe I should try to not be miserable today” I began making a list of specific incidents that I had with each girlfriend that drove me insane. After a while I began thinking more along the lines of “God damn, why did I ever date these girls again?” and began seeing similarities between the ex girlfriend and the girl I recently met that may be a warning sign that there’d be “more of the same” ahead.
After this realization, it became extremely evident that I didn’t really “need” a girlfriend like I had conditioned my brain to believe. Sure there are a bunch of great things you get from being in a relationship, but there’s a shit ton more nonsense you have to deal with too. Whether you’re in our out of a relationship, it’s not that one is necessarily better…it’s just different.
#3. Dating Is Monotonous
Dating can be a lot of fun- you get to meet new people all of the time, learn new things, try new places out to eat, and if you’re lucky get some…experience later on in the night. What usually doesn’t get talked about though is that dating can become less Indiana Jones Adventure and more World of Warcraft grindfest adventure. As you go along you start to notice a lot of people talk about the same things, none of which are generally very interesting:
1. Work
2. Vague cliché references to partying/alcohol in a coy manner
3. Pets
4. Did I say work yet?
"No Really, tell me again...your dog tilts his head sideways and it's super cute when you ask if he wants to go for a walk? By the gods, this behavior is unheard of in a canine! What a rarity indeed!"
We all engage in these things at some point during the “getting to know you” stages of any relationship. But when you’re “dating around”, this just becomes a blur of all you ever really hear and it begins to melt into one huge clump of a ambiguous mess. Every time you talk to meet these people it’s like getting the cliff cotes to their lives, or a single serving packet of personality that they try to fit everything into. What ends up happening is these little things begin to sound the same because you hear something like,
“I’m a nurse and I really like it because it’s challenging and I get to be with people all day. But sometimes that can be a down side too.” Then they laugh politely at their witty comment.
Give it a week or so and the next girl you go out with you hear,
“I’m an events coordinator and I really like it because it’s challenging and I get to be with people all day. But sometimes that can be a down side too.” Then you hear that same God damn laugh.
Basically you never really get to decide what type of person someone is, or able to tell “Is this person at all interesting, or at least sane?” because all you ever hear are the same canned conversations over and over. Then you run into the problem if you try to talk about something interesting that they find you creepy and unable to socialize normally with other people, or that you seem clingy for asking for their opinion about something besides fucking Jersey Shore or how her pet cat does this really cute thing with her ears and it’s like, just so cute…you have to see it.(see #1 about why you shouldn’t give a shit about their opinion, even if you want to). In the end, consider the following statements that are probably roughly true for all “first date” stages:
1. Time spent at initial meeting the person (online or in person): 15 minutes to one hour
2. Time spent texting this person/follow up conversations…the stage where you make them comfortable enough to go out with you: 30 minutes to two hours
3. Time spent talking to friends about this girl and what you should do: 30 minutes to five hours
4. Time spent possibly stressing, or even thinking about an unreturned text/call: one to ten hours
5. Date itself: One to three hours
Total Time: 3.25 to 21 hours
That’s a shit ton of time regardless of you being on the shorter side of that equation. Most of that too is spent all in your own home, without actually getting to know this person. Now what happens if this whole thing didn’t work out because she’s a bitch, doesn’t like you, or she doesn’t know when Guild Wars 2 is being released? Well fuck you son, you just lost that much time of your life stressing about a dead-end road. Guess what else? The next chick you will know absolutely diddly shit about, and will have to start the whole “getting to know you” process over again. Man isn’t dating great?
#4. It’s Very Hard to Find Compatibility
Finding someone you get along with can be tough. That’s why places like eHarmony and match.com exist, to try to pair you up with someone you will get along with. Being a user on several dating sites for a brief amount of time in my life I can say that these things are generally bullshit. People online will often answer questions based on what they think is the “right” answer, regardless of what they actually feel. I’m sure this isn’t done because people are actively trying to fuck other people over, but it’s human nature to try to build ourselves up better than we really are.
"I'm an innovative mind with deep roots in the culinary arts."
A good example of this was one girl who had made a very clear point that she was looking for an “honest man”. I was like “Hey, I’m honest. I’ll give this shit a shot”. So we talked for a couple months, and I had made several arrangements for us to meet up. The first was the most extreme case, when she said she was driving down to my house for New Years Eve, because she wanted to spend it with me. Being my naïve, 22 year old self I was like “Oh sure, this sounds like a great time to get to know her and probably get tail too.”
She called me telling me she was going to be there at 8, and she couldn’t wait to see me. 8:30 came, and she wasn’t there. I called her and no answer. She called back 9:30 and said she was lost. I asked where she was and she told me “by the side of the highway” but that was all I got, as she hung up again. It was now around 10:30 and I hadn’t heard back from her and I started to worry. I called several times and she didn’t answer. Then she texted me that she thought she was by one of the roads by my house, so my dad elected to help me go look for her (as I was pretty wasted by this point). We drove around in a 30 minute radius of my house, looking for her and never found her. Eventually she told me she had turned around and gone back home, apologizing for the whole thing. This sort of thing went on two more times, but I didn’t bother going out driving around anymore. She eventually confessed that she had lied about everything she had ever told me, and that the pictures were of a girl she went to High School with. Needless to say, the girl looking for an “honest man” and turned out to be a huge lying bitch is somewhat ironic.
"Huge steaming pile of lies" Abe...Yeah, that sounds right.
This sort of thing happens though a lot and not necessarily as extreme as that. People are different to some degree on what they value in life and what they can’t stand. For instance, some girls I’ve went out on dates with wrote me off right away as soon as they asked if I played video games, while other girls would try to impress me by saying “Oh yeah, I love Halo and Rock Band.”
This sort of thing happens though a lot and not necessarily as extreme as that. People are different to some degree on what they value in life and what they can’t stand. For instance, some girls I’ve went out on dates with wrote me off right away as soon as they asked if I played video games, while other girls would try to impress me by saying “Oh yeah, I love Halo and Rock Band.”
Some of the things you can’t even possibly think of asking up front and can’t find out until down the road. A good example of this is when I was dating this one girl, I thought it was awesome that she laughed at all my racial, vulgar jokes. But unlike her, I knew how to turn that sense of humor off when it was appropriate. She however would push me to the limit and start doing thrusty-hips and grunt noises even when she just showed up at my door step and she knew I didn’t really want to see her. Yeah, people are different that’s all I’ll say about that.
Some of you may find this to sound pretty pussy and want to troll the shit out of me…this article wasn’t really for you. This article is for those of you who have been single and hating yourself because of it, thinking that once you find the right girl all your problems are over. The important thing is to remember that these things happening in the immediate vicinity of your life are only temporary, and won’t even show up on your overall life timeline. People are going to come and go in your life, and it’s important to realize that and to not worry so much about “if this is the one who is supposed to stick around.” Because I guarantee you the one who will is the one who will require the least amount of effort to make it work.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Amy Winehouse (and how she's all dead or whatever)
Unless you've been locked up in the basement with minimal access to things that arent basic necessities of life, you've most likely heard about Amy Winehouse's death. Now don't get me wrong, it's sad whenever anyone dies (unless it's crew member #3...that dick) but her death has made me realize that these things get blown way out of proportion just for the sake of having something to talk about.
Before the internet and in the early days of television, coverage for these sorts of things was usually reserved for VIPs like JFK, Marylin Monroe, etc. Then after that, we started seeing a bit more coverage once television caught on more with the Princess Diana funeral. Now as I'm sure you're aware, the Michael Jackson death/funeral was a huge ordeal...they even had tv specials and youtube videos come out commiserating his passing. The thing that's really most interesting about this is the influx in the amount of material we have now...especially since as opposed to "the old days", anyone can get in front of a camera and speak their condolences...no matter how dumb they may be.
 |
| He was a light...at the end of a tunnel. He was my light...and he always beat me at Jenga. |
Now the reason I bring up is because I barely even remember anyone even mentioning Amy Winehouse besides my brother-in-law. At best, maybe someone hearing her "Rehab" song and going "Shit, someone sang that, right?" Yes, yes someone did sing that. Now I remember the whole debacle with her when she actually needed to go to rehab (I'll go out on a limb and guess that's what the song was about) and she got a bit of press coverage, but nothing major. So it just blows my mind to be on youtube and see practically every single channel have some sort of sympathy video for her, along with the endless google news articles, yahoo, etc. Hell I even decided to try a little experiment. I googled "John F Kennedy funeral" and "Amy Winehouse funeral". You know what I found?
Yeah, apparently JFK can suck it...They Tried to make us go to rehab and we said "No, no no." That's right, apparently theres 4.1 million results for one of our nation's favorite leaders passing 58 years ago, and 26.9 million for Amy Winehouse...who died 3 days ago. You would think just by the sheer fact that he had 58 years on her there'd be more things written about right? I mean you have the conspiracy theories, the memorials, the actual funeral...google spiderwebs everything together so that you'd have all that material to cover. But apparently we as a nation like to smile coyly as we sing about drug addiction more.
Now this isn't supposed to be some sort of thing like "She doesn't deserve this attention and to stfu", but it does pose some questions: such as Do we as a nation struggle to find things to talk about so much that we need a funeral of someone moderately famous to spice up our mundane lives...even if that person didn't necessarily have mainstream fame? I know she had won several awards, including the Ivor Novello Award and Best Contemporary song for "Rehab", but she still wasn't at the same status level (at least for our country) as say the likes of Lil' Wayne, Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, etc.
Now this isn't supposed to be some sort of thing like "She doesn't deserve this attention and to stfu", but it does pose some questions: such as Do we as a nation struggle to find things to talk about so much that we need a funeral of someone moderately famous to spice up our mundane lives...even if that person didn't necessarily have mainstream fame? I know she had won several awards, including the Ivor Novello Award and Best Contemporary song for "Rehab", but she still wasn't at the same status level (at least for our country) as say the likes of Lil' Wayne, Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, etc.
Another question is Do we really care about the death of an R&B/jazz singer more than that of one of the most popular presidents of all time? Things to think about, America.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Youtube High
So several friends recently encouraged me to start a vlog on Youtube (http://www.youtube.com/user/flusterBEAR) in an effort to perhaps reach more followers. I figured "What the hell, I'm a good rambler...surely I can do this" and away I went to go buy a video camera and tripod. What I didn't know however is that Youtube is basically an internet High School of drama and popularity contests. Here's the story of the "new kid on the block" and his first days at Youtube High.
There I was, trapper keeper in hand with my #2 Pencil inside, TI-83, schedule of classes and a map of the building just in case I got lost (I did). My schedule went something like this:
1. First period was "Getting your shit together", which sounded a bit intimidating at first. The description said "Coming up with an idea that doesn't suck, hasn't really been done before, and why you probably won't make it happen ever."
2. Next I had "Recording sucks. You wouldn't believe how long a 2 minute video can take to shoot." The description included the issues of being "camera shy", "freezing up", "random swearing out of frustration", and "unplanned phone calls during recording".
3. Then there was "Seriously, most things that get popular on here suck. Deal with it." The title pretty much summed up what that class was about.
4. The last class was "Making minimal money for countless hours of work." This class was the one which described how to make money on Youtube, albeit it may be small in comparison to how much work is involved in making it.
I paced nervously in front of the door to my first class, five minutes early. I saw a kid with an Iron Maiden shirt on and 60 pounds over weight. He smelled like dysentery (or at least what I'd imagine dysentery to smell like), but he smiled at me. I half-waved and he came over to talk to me.
"You must be new here, I'm Rodney87." He said while he brushed the dandriff off his shoulders. Then he extended his hand for a handshake, to which I politefully declined.
"I'm flusterBEAR, nice to meet you." He commented on my trapper keeper and he liked the design. He asked if I had any work that I had done yet and I said I did. I showed him my vlog inside my trapper keeper and he grinned, obviously impressed.
"Wow flusterBEAR that's really neat! Do you want to see my work?!" as he fumbled over his trapper keeper with dorito dust all over it. He showed me some video with low lighting and awful video quality about how school sucks and he can't get a girlfriend. I force-smiled and told him to keep up the good work. Just then there was laughter down the hall. A long-haired boy was talking in a big group of people, who all seemed to be fixated on him.
"Who's that?" I asked Rodney87, and briefly looked in my direction and frowned. "That's SceneKid," Rodney mumbled, "He's a hipster kid who only says things ironically and gets irate over mundane things. Everyone thinks he's sooo cool and sooo funny. Pssh, he just doesn't know when to shutup, that's what I say."
I told him, "Oh, but he might be worth getting on my side though." Rodney rolled his eyes and turned the other way. It was time for class, so we went in and learned about how our ideas most likely sucked, and would never make it anywhere.
After class, I saw SceneKid and I went up to go introduce myself. He responded by questioning my existence,
"Oh, you must be new. Well don't think you're getting anything out of me, because you have to earn your place in this school." he replied with a condescending smile. I flipped him off as he turned to leave and a girl with blonde hair and a short blue skirt came up to me with an "I can't believe you just did that" smile on her face.
"Haha! Wow, you just flicked SceneKid off, you must be cool. I'm SaraS, but you can call me SARS." She said. I told her my name and that I was just trying to get around in this new school and make some new friends. She told me,
"Well, that's exactly what you need to do because you can't make it otherwise. Be sure to strike out and randomly talk to people, and ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS give a video response to popular people's work. But don't do it to crappy people's work- because then people assume you're just as bad. Oh, and if you do it to the wrong people (like SceneKid) then his fans will crucify you and hang you by your own testicles. But don't worry you'll get the hang of it!"
I then proceeded to have sex with her under the stairway of course, as we promised to subscribe to each others trapper keepers and comment on every piece of work that came out of them. (Okay, well maybe I didn't have sex with her but we still made that promise).
Once people saw me hanging around SARS, then more people started coming by and wanting to see who I was, and what I did. Other people though, started despising me because I associated with SARS and not SceneKid, so there was a turf war. "Hey," they would say to me, "Why do you just copy off of SceneKid? Can't you come up with your own ideas?" Then they would all laugh and high-five each other. There were others who were less direct about their hatred, but instead agree with whatever I had to say and discredit me in another way. "Not funny kid isn't funny" they would say to me. Their teeth were Mountain Dew green and generally were found on their knees with mouths wide open beside SceneKid or one of the other popular kids, like BWJ. What was really strange though was that all these kids looked like they couldn't have been older than 13, but they still had the audacity to try and approach me.
By the end of my first semester, SceneKid decided that there needed to be a showdown between me and him. He was feeling threatened as he saw more and more people were following me, due to my network of friends I was making. We decided to have a "vlog-off".
"The rules are simple," he stated, "We make a 3 minute vlog, new topic, new music, and it can be about whatever you want. BUT, we can't say anything directly about each other."
We shook on it and scowled at each other as we walked away and went to work. My plan was perfect- I would rant about public transportation and how fat people take up entire seats and make normal people have to stand. I could work in a sketch, a new song, and maybe a closing heart-to-heart to try to motivate people to lose weight. But what came next, I could have never predicted.
The day came for our showdown. The clock struck noon, and we bust open our trapper keepers to display our work. I showed mine and it had a positive response (I even saw a few SceneKid fans laugh), but some called me a noob and said it was offensive. After the round of applause, it was time for SceneKid to showcase his work. He started it up and it was a vlog about some indy-folk band he went to see. Then he threw a curveball- Fifty Cent showed up on his show. Fifty fuckin Cents gave SceneKid a high-five and then there were gun shot sounds, and special effects and a helicopter with Jason Bourne Matt Damon. To top it off, the London Symphony was playing over top of the whole thing. Everyone oo'd and aah'd, and I retired to my car to go home.
"Where you goin?" SARS asked as I got inside.
"Fuck this, I can't compete with these people. They have unlimited budgets, resources, and a network of people to help them out. I got nothin'." I told her.
She gave me a blowjob and told me, "Don't give up yet. I know you can do this. And why do you keep trying to put my head down by your crotch?" Okay, maybe she didn't give me a blowjob, but I know she thought about it. I got back in that theoretical school and went to work...
(Stay tuned for part 2)
There I was, trapper keeper in hand with my #2 Pencil inside, TI-83, schedule of classes and a map of the building just in case I got lost (I did). My schedule went something like this:
1. First period was "Getting your shit together", which sounded a bit intimidating at first. The description said "Coming up with an idea that doesn't suck, hasn't really been done before, and why you probably won't make it happen ever."
2. Next I had "Recording sucks. You wouldn't believe how long a 2 minute video can take to shoot." The description included the issues of being "camera shy", "freezing up", "random swearing out of frustration", and "unplanned phone calls during recording".
3. Then there was "Seriously, most things that get popular on here suck. Deal with it." The title pretty much summed up what that class was about.
4. The last class was "Making minimal money for countless hours of work." This class was the one which described how to make money on Youtube, albeit it may be small in comparison to how much work is involved in making it.
I paced nervously in front of the door to my first class, five minutes early. I saw a kid with an Iron Maiden shirt on and 60 pounds over weight. He smelled like dysentery (or at least what I'd imagine dysentery to smell like), but he smiled at me. I half-waved and he came over to talk to me.
"You must be new here, I'm Rodney87." He said while he brushed the dandriff off his shoulders. Then he extended his hand for a handshake, to which I politefully declined.
"I'm flusterBEAR, nice to meet you." He commented on my trapper keeper and he liked the design. He asked if I had any work that I had done yet and I said I did. I showed him my vlog inside my trapper keeper and he grinned, obviously impressed.
"Wow flusterBEAR that's really neat! Do you want to see my work?!" as he fumbled over his trapper keeper with dorito dust all over it. He showed me some video with low lighting and awful video quality about how school sucks and he can't get a girlfriend. I force-smiled and told him to keep up the good work. Just then there was laughter down the hall. A long-haired boy was talking in a big group of people, who all seemed to be fixated on him.
"Who's that?" I asked Rodney87, and briefly looked in my direction and frowned. "That's SceneKid," Rodney mumbled, "He's a hipster kid who only says things ironically and gets irate over mundane things. Everyone thinks he's sooo cool and sooo funny. Pssh, he just doesn't know when to shutup, that's what I say."
I told him, "Oh, but he might be worth getting on my side though." Rodney rolled his eyes and turned the other way. It was time for class, so we went in and learned about how our ideas most likely sucked, and would never make it anywhere.
After class, I saw SceneKid and I went up to go introduce myself. He responded by questioning my existence,
"Oh, you must be new. Well don't think you're getting anything out of me, because you have to earn your place in this school." he replied with a condescending smile. I flipped him off as he turned to leave and a girl with blonde hair and a short blue skirt came up to me with an "I can't believe you just did that" smile on her face.
"Haha! Wow, you just flicked SceneKid off, you must be cool. I'm SaraS, but you can call me SARS." She said. I told her my name and that I was just trying to get around in this new school and make some new friends. She told me,
"Well, that's exactly what you need to do because you can't make it otherwise. Be sure to strike out and randomly talk to people, and ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS give a video response to popular people's work. But don't do it to crappy people's work- because then people assume you're just as bad. Oh, and if you do it to the wrong people (like SceneKid) then his fans will crucify you and hang you by your own testicles. But don't worry you'll get the hang of it!"
I then proceeded to have sex with her under the stairway of course, as we promised to subscribe to each others trapper keepers and comment on every piece of work that came out of them. (Okay, well maybe I didn't have sex with her but we still made that promise).
Once people saw me hanging around SARS, then more people started coming by and wanting to see who I was, and what I did. Other people though, started despising me because I associated with SARS and not SceneKid, so there was a turf war. "Hey," they would say to me, "Why do you just copy off of SceneKid? Can't you come up with your own ideas?" Then they would all laugh and high-five each other. There were others who were less direct about their hatred, but instead agree with whatever I had to say and discredit me in another way. "Not funny kid isn't funny" they would say to me. Their teeth were Mountain Dew green and generally were found on their knees with mouths wide open beside SceneKid or one of the other popular kids, like BWJ. What was really strange though was that all these kids looked like they couldn't have been older than 13, but they still had the audacity to try and approach me.
By the end of my first semester, SceneKid decided that there needed to be a showdown between me and him. He was feeling threatened as he saw more and more people were following me, due to my network of friends I was making. We decided to have a "vlog-off".
"The rules are simple," he stated, "We make a 3 minute vlog, new topic, new music, and it can be about whatever you want. BUT, we can't say anything directly about each other."
We shook on it and scowled at each other as we walked away and went to work. My plan was perfect- I would rant about public transportation and how fat people take up entire seats and make normal people have to stand. I could work in a sketch, a new song, and maybe a closing heart-to-heart to try to motivate people to lose weight. But what came next, I could have never predicted.
The day came for our showdown. The clock struck noon, and we bust open our trapper keepers to display our work. I showed mine and it had a positive response (I even saw a few SceneKid fans laugh), but some called me a noob and said it was offensive. After the round of applause, it was time for SceneKid to showcase his work. He started it up and it was a vlog about some indy-folk band he went to see. Then he threw a curveball- Fifty Cent showed up on his show. Fifty fuckin Cents gave SceneKid a high-five and then there were gun shot sounds, and special effects and a helicopter with Jason Bourne Matt Damon. To top it off, the London Symphony was playing over top of the whole thing. Everyone oo'd and aah'd, and I retired to my car to go home.
"Where you goin?" SARS asked as I got inside.
"Fuck this, I can't compete with these people. They have unlimited budgets, resources, and a network of people to help them out. I got nothin'." I told her.
She gave me a blowjob and told me, "Don't give up yet. I know you can do this. And why do you keep trying to put my head down by your crotch?" Okay, maybe she didn't give me a blowjob, but I know she thought about it. I got back in that theoretical school and went to work...
(Stay tuned for part 2)
Monday, June 13, 2011
The Truth About Growing Up
For us twenty-somethings, the majority of our rememberable lives was spent in some sort of educational facility- be it pre school, public school, college, etc. Because of that we are still kind of new to the whole "real world", as people call it. But even with all of the schooling we received, the lessons we learned, some things never really sank in or were never actually told to us. For those of you in my situation (a young professional as some call it, or bullshitting-noob as more accurately defined), you may or may not have come to the same conclusions yet. As for the baby birds still in college waiting to leave the nest, here are some juicy worms of reality to help you grow big and strong.
1. There's no milestones in life to measure our successes anymore
In school, at the end of every year you would be able to give a summary of everything that you had learned. Basically, life fit neatly into little leftover containers in our mind's refigerator, labeled sophmore year-2007, junior year-2008, etc. In each of those containers we could see that we at least made progress in some area of our lives, like learning a new language or trig. This gave us some way of measuring ourselves as growing individuals, and with that be able to define who we are.
But beware baby birds, what you became accustomed to in the nest doesn't translate into the "real world". Once you've ventured off into the "real world", life becomes much more amorphous and and less malleable at the same time. What I mean by that is that you will no longer have clear-cut labels for growing like you did in school, AND you won't have as much of a say in how you spend your time in order to attempt to grow. When you're in the work world, at the end of the year you kind of look back at your past 12 months and go- "So in conclusion, I did some stuff and I went to work. Oh, and I learned that there's this new Mexican place in town that has great fajitas!" Life becomes much more drab and mundane, since you're not being fed new information on a regular basis and being encouraged to come up with new ideas (Actually in most jobs, new ideas are secretly discouraged).
But how is it less malleable than a college life, right? I mean you have money now since you work, you could spend extra cash that on vacations, classes, 3D TVs. Theoretically you can. But what they kind of forget to tell you about the whole independent-living thing is that you have BILLS, not to mention your free time ranks somewhere as little as Lil' Wayne's musical talent. So now you're getting that income to spend on fun things like $100 electric bills, $1500 in rent for your 1 bedroom, and $2000 worth of other expenses. That still doesn't really give much room for your backpacking in Thailand or any other wordly adventures. Oh yeah, and you waste 10 hours + with commuting/working everyday, and get 7-10 days vacation to last you an entire year.
1. There's no milestones in life to measure our successes anymore
In school, at the end of every year you would be able to give a summary of everything that you had learned. Basically, life fit neatly into little leftover containers in our mind's refigerator, labeled sophmore year-2007, junior year-2008, etc. In each of those containers we could see that we at least made progress in some area of our lives, like learning a new language or trig. This gave us some way of measuring ourselves as growing individuals, and with that be able to define who we are.
But beware baby birds, what you became accustomed to in the nest doesn't translate into the "real world". Once you've ventured off into the "real world", life becomes much more amorphous and and less malleable at the same time. What I mean by that is that you will no longer have clear-cut labels for growing like you did in school, AND you won't have as much of a say in how you spend your time in order to attempt to grow. When you're in the work world, at the end of the year you kind of look back at your past 12 months and go- "So in conclusion, I did some stuff and I went to work. Oh, and I learned that there's this new Mexican place in town that has great fajitas!" Life becomes much more drab and mundane, since you're not being fed new information on a regular basis and being encouraged to come up with new ideas (Actually in most jobs, new ideas are secretly discouraged).
But how is it less malleable than a college life, right? I mean you have money now since you work, you could spend extra cash that on vacations, classes, 3D TVs. Theoretically you can. But what they kind of forget to tell you about the whole independent-living thing is that you have BILLS, not to mention your free time ranks somewhere as little as Lil' Wayne's musical talent. So now you're getting that income to spend on fun things like $100 electric bills, $1500 in rent for your 1 bedroom, and $2000 worth of other expenses. That still doesn't really give much room for your backpacking in Thailand or any other wordly adventures. Oh yeah, and you waste 10 hours + with commuting/working everyday, and get 7-10 days vacation to last you an entire year.
"Don't spend all your free time in one place! Actually, don't spend it ever." -Hypothetical Grandma
2. Anything goes because there was never a class on what to expect
Like most people born in the mid 80s, it's still somewhat of a struggle to adapt to this everchanging world we live in. Not only do we have our jobs to worry about, then we have social lives, tech lives, and family lives to worry about (more description on these later). We don't even realize it but we're setting precedents for kids under us...just like the generation before us unknowlingly did for us.
When we were at that young and obnoxious age between 7-20 (age range may vary in either direction), we looked at people older than us for examples on what we should and shouldn't do. Just like we have no course or diploma on how to be a functioning adult, they didn't either. When we were young, people my age (I'm 24 now) were men/women, and almost like another species of beings all together. These were the teachers who would go home and sit quietly until the next day of school would begin (because all teachers are actually androids), but adults in general had shit figured out. No matter what, you could count on someone 20-70 to know what the world is all about. But now that we're at this age ourselves, I think it's safe to call bullshit. All people did, and what they continue to do is what they feel like...with whatever excuse they come up with.
So how are we setting precedents for younger generations? Well think about it...we're at an awkward time in our lives where we're still trying to figure out our responsibilities: Are we supposed to send Christmas cards to our family and friends? Are we too old for video games? Do girls frown upon us playing them? If so, why? Is it acceptable for people outside of college to be on Facebook? At what point do we become "too old" for silly Facebook/Twitter updates, and it becomes cheesy? When are we considered "too old" to tailgate, or to visit our college for the festivals and events we used to love? Is it okay to live in my Mom's basement? These are the kinds of things I was never faced with as a youth for various reasons, and for the tech type things because the shit didn't even exist yet. So yeah, is there a wikiHow on being a functioning adult?
3. Your circle of friends gets exponentially smaller
This can of course vary from person to person and their connections with their friends, but in general life tends to seperate those buddies from high school or college you thought would be friends for life. I remember back in High School I had a friend of about 7 years that we made a promise to be the best man in each other's weddings (we probably thought it would follow with light string music, leading to a sequence of meeting some hot chick we fall in love with and eventually marry. Hell, that's what happens in the movies, right?). Where is he today? I haven't talked to him for about four years. It's not like we had a falling out or anything, just that he became busy working and involved with baby mama drama and I...well, didn't.
So then since our jobs rip us apart from friends and families like the Nazis, most of us are placed into a city we've never lived before forced to start from scratch. This is great! A chance to start over, and define yourself as an adult in the real world, right? In theory that's great, but look at the previous two points and you can see the main problems:
1. Neither of you will have much time for each other
2. Neither of you know what the fuck your place in the world really is
Mix those things with the fact that it becomes increasingly difficult to meet new people, and you can see how easy it is to become a hermit, even in a city of three million people. The most obvious place to meet new people is at work, which you may assume is pretty similar to meeting people say from your economics class. In those college days, people in general are a lot more at ease, since it ultimately doesn't matter what a peer thinks of them. However, when you meet someone at work there's guards that you put up so you don't get fired. People tend to tip-toe around any conversation that might have depth to it and stick to light topics...fun topics like weather, or garden hoses. Add on top that at a lot of companies coworkers will have families, be much much older than you, or in general have literally nothing in common with you, you can definitely see how this could lead to a less-than-stellar social life. Yes, thanks a lot employment, you cock block me from girls AND friends.
4. Miscellaneous
A few miscellaneous notes for those interested:
-There are no more summers. I can't emphasize the impact of this enough- there is no more "blank page" between each of the chapters of our lives where we can go to the beach and have irresponsible endless nights. There is no more time to soul search in the drive through of the McDonalds at 2AM. There are no more road trips to somewhere you heard was cool, just going because it sounded cool. Lastly and perhaps most importantly, there is no more waking up at noon, watching Nick Jr., going swimming AND playing volleyball the same day, only to repeat the process the next day.
-If someone says they're confident with their life and know what it is they want, they are full of shit. What we want at this exact moment in our lives will most likely change in a year after we've had more experience in our current situation. This world of ours is still too new to us to know much of anything.
-Revelations will come to you about life every couple years, where you reevaluate yourself, laugh about what you once thought, and convince yourself you know what life is all about for sure now. Then you recycle ideas from before, create new ones, and constantly attempt to define yourself in this crazy world.
5. The Perks
Being grown up isn't really all that bad, though (that was the first time I've ever actively acknowledged being grown up...I almost felt a chill). There is the powerful-man-in-the-suit-card we can play for women now. It holds a lot more weight now that we wear a suit and don't work at the Chik-Fil-A.
The whole not having time thing is only partially true. In some ways we have the potential to have more time, since we don't get homework (but depending on job, you may get overtime). Also, depending on where you live, commuting can help you find the joys of a little ancient hobby called reading. (Seriously, find a topic you like and google books about it. If you're really not creative and need spoon fed everything, google books like your favorite movie and prepare to be mind-fucked. You'll find now that you're out of college and not assigned to read, that it's actually not ripping off your fingernails or killing your first borns.)
Lastly, know you're not alone. Everyone is constantly going through the same reevaluation/reestablishing process. We're all just boys and girls going through our second puberty...if we hold hands and wish for butterflies and non-subsidized housing, we can make for a better future!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Predominant Senses
Our senses are important to us all- the ability to take in the outside world and absorb it into our own psyche. Then from there, it's up to us to interpret what it is we saw/heard/felt/smelled/tasted and do what we humans love doing. Ready? Say it with me...Categorize things! Yes, we humans excite easily over categorizing things subconsciously to make sense of the world. Because wouldn't it just be so much easier to have a sweeping generalization about an entire race rather than look at each person individually?
Oh, but don't hate on yourself for doing it- it's all part of our nature. Our instincts dictate that we need to categorize things in order to survive. Take our cavemen (and cavewomyn, don't think I forgot about you sisters!) ancestors who noticed a rival tribe trying to take down a grizzly bear with their bare (no pun intended) hands. I'm not 100% sure of the outcome of this hypothetical scenario, but I'm pretty sure it didn't favor the Bruce Lee tribe. So while they were busy getting their designer furs ripped to shreds, our ancestors were categorizing "people who fight wild bears with their hands are fucking stupid".
Now in order to have witnessed such an event, at least one of the senses would have been used- maybe they saw the bodies getting torn apart, or maybe they heard the blood curdling screams, or smelled the soiling of the loin cloths as the claws ripped through their friends. Either way, there was an external event that was being absorbed internally. The real question though, is what was the first sense engaged when our ancestors were baring witness to the slaughter?
Okay so the above scenario was maybe a bit excessive, but it's attention-grabbing right? Because people love reading about ancestors and the shit they had to go through due to their lack of understanding and technology (I'm looking at you, Woodpecker canopener). I recently finished reading a psych-ish book called How to Make People Like You in Ninety Seconds or Less (hey, I got it for free leave me alone). The majority of the book talks about things most people kind of know already- body language, generating rapport, give the person a big ol' shit-eating grin, ask them questions about their miserable life, pretty much all the shit everybody has known since they were in elementary school. However the interesting part of the book was when he was talking about how everybody has senses they primarily rely on and how much of an impact that can have on relating to people.
Some of it even talks about queues to pick up from people- like vocabulary of each group. A lot of it was a bit exaggerated for the sake of proving a point, and a lot of vocabulary we use I think is just because we hear other people using it, but it could still be partially true for determining what type of sense the person relies on. For instance, visuals like to say things like "I'll look it over" or "I'll see what I can do". Auditory people may say things like "you never listen to me" or "you know what I'm saying?" Kinisthetics like to use concrete things in their speech like "hammer it out" or "walk me through this", or even when stating opinions start them off with "I feel" rather than "I think". Like I said, it was overly generalized but it helps give some context.
Quick, think of the following scenario- you're at a rock concert.
1. The venue is a sold-out concert hall that houses about 1000 people everyone crammed like sardines and you can feel the fat guy next you breathing on your body.
2.The band is crazy loud, well mixed,but you heard the guitarist fuck up a few times and the singer accidentally started singing Kelly Clarkson "Since You've Been Gone" for the first verse of one of their original songs.
3.They are eccentrically dressed, the drummer had condoms hanging off his drumset and accompanied by flashing lights and pyrotechnics.
Now it's the next day and you're meeting your buddy. If you had to time to only share 1, 2 or 3 because you know your friend is an asshole and will cut you off after one sentence, which detail would you pick? If you said
1. You could be kinesthetic, meaning you favor your senses of touch. Sometimes emotional feelings get rapped up into this too, same with smell and taste(you know, since those guys don't really fall into anything in a lot of our lives, they just kind of chill in Kinesthetic's pad).
2. You could be auditory, meaning what you hear is how you primarily discern what the hell is going on in life.
3. You could be visual, meaning you want to see the "pics or it didn't happen".
I remembered learning about this concept in different context, mainly about learning styles. But for whatever reason, I always just considered "learning styles" to be based only in classroom settings. But when the spectrum opens up to everyday life, things start to make a lot more sense.
I'm an auditory, so subconsciously the first thing that registers to me in any new situation is what I hear. Whenever I was learning about the learning types, since I love music so much I convinced myself that it was proposterous that I could be anything but an auditory learner, while the thought secretly lingered like a guilty cheeseburger-run while being on a diet. But then when I started learning about this transferring over into life I was like "Holy shit! My life is almost nothing but auditory!" The concert scenario really "spelled it out" for me.
Because we have a "predominant" sense, I think a lot of times it leaves our other senses kind of standing idly, waiting to process something. Now that I am aware of the fact that I engage my hearing alone probably 75% of the experiences in my life, that I have to manually turn on my other senses and focus more on using them. For instance, for most of my life a sunny summer day to me was just like "cool, it's light out...I can get my Vitamin D in. Double score! Oh and it's warm so I can wear shorts. Awesome!" while my ears were giving my head its inner dialog that goes on constantly all day "dude it's summer! You hear that distant lawnmower? You hear those birds trying to get laid? You hear the sound of people driving to work while you sit at home on summer vaction, you sly self-unaware teenager you?"
Basically, I never really tuned in to my other senses that probably most people pay more attention to since my ears OBVIOUSLY do such a great job. (if I ever lose my hearing I'll be fucked. Somewhat of a sidenote- When you're like this, it makes reading a book kind of redundant sometimes, because I'd read a description of a place and all I'd basically do is just sum it up in different words. There wouldn't be a mental picture, there'd just be logic statements dictating what most likely is occurring. Maybe it's just me who does this, I don't know.) So now that I've become more aware of what's been going on in my life, I decided to start using these crazy white and brown things I found in these sockets on my face, and these sensations that come whenever my hands touch something. Obviously it's not like I never used them, but more like I never listened to them. They were always telling my brain stuff that were always like supporting paragraphs of a 2 page news story(nobody reads those things anyway).
So now, the second part of what I was interested in, was how we actually categorize all of this data we take in. Because we fall into one of the three groups, we categorize and prioritize things a bit differently. This can be seen in relationships and what people look for in them. What do most girls want in a relationship? Come on be honest. That's right, a guy with muscles, dark-skinned, dresses nice, and hopefully doesn't beat her death. This is because most people are visually based (58%). Now there are other factors that enter into this too, such as stimulating conversation, makes her feel safe and secure, listens to what she has to say, and puts up with her whining. But how people prioritize these things I think may have a strong correlation to their predominant sense.
These things are often a way we decide if someone is even worth talking to. For instance, whenever a person sounds like a what psychologists call "a fucking idiot", I don't really have much tolerance for them. Basically to me, a persons value and worth is 90% based on what they have to say. If they are funny/intelligent, I can look past their not-Kate-Beckinsale-face and non name-brand handbag. (This could be a reason we don't necessarily notice your new shoes or haircut, ladies!) But the minute they start saying stupid shit, acting immature, or being cliche I become disengaged entirely- all just because they demonstrate to my primal instincts that "this person fights bears with his/her hands." Which of course sounds awesome, but in practice is probably not the greatest idea.
Oh, but don't hate on yourself for doing it- it's all part of our nature. Our instincts dictate that we need to categorize things in order to survive. Take our cavemen (and cavewomyn, don't think I forgot about you sisters!) ancestors who noticed a rival tribe trying to take down a grizzly bear with their bare (no pun intended) hands. I'm not 100% sure of the outcome of this hypothetical scenario, but I'm pretty sure it didn't favor the Bruce Lee tribe. So while they were busy getting their designer furs ripped to shreds, our ancestors were categorizing "people who fight wild bears with their hands are fucking stupid".
Now in order to have witnessed such an event, at least one of the senses would have been used- maybe they saw the bodies getting torn apart, or maybe they heard the blood curdling screams, or smelled the soiling of the loin cloths as the claws ripped through their friends. Either way, there was an external event that was being absorbed internally. The real question though, is what was the first sense engaged when our ancestors were baring witness to the slaughter?
Okay so the above scenario was maybe a bit excessive, but it's attention-grabbing right? Because people love reading about ancestors and the shit they had to go through due to their lack of understanding and technology (I'm looking at you, Woodpecker canopener). I recently finished reading a psych-ish book called How to Make People Like You in Ninety Seconds or Less (hey, I got it for free leave me alone). The majority of the book talks about things most people kind of know already- body language, generating rapport, give the person a big ol' shit-eating grin, ask them questions about their miserable life, pretty much all the shit everybody has known since they were in elementary school. However the interesting part of the book was when he was talking about how everybody has senses they primarily rely on and how much of an impact that can have on relating to people.
Some of it even talks about queues to pick up from people- like vocabulary of each group. A lot of it was a bit exaggerated for the sake of proving a point, and a lot of vocabulary we use I think is just because we hear other people using it, but it could still be partially true for determining what type of sense the person relies on. For instance, visuals like to say things like "I'll look it over" or "I'll see what I can do". Auditory people may say things like "you never listen to me" or "you know what I'm saying?" Kinisthetics like to use concrete things in their speech like "hammer it out" or "walk me through this", or even when stating opinions start them off with "I feel" rather than "I think". Like I said, it was overly generalized but it helps give some context.
Quick, think of the following scenario- you're at a rock concert.
1. The venue is a sold-out concert hall that houses about 1000 people everyone crammed like sardines and you can feel the fat guy next you breathing on your body.
2.The band is crazy loud, well mixed,but you heard the guitarist fuck up a few times and the singer accidentally started singing Kelly Clarkson "Since You've Been Gone" for the first verse of one of their original songs.
3.They are eccentrically dressed, the drummer had condoms hanging off his drumset and accompanied by flashing lights and pyrotechnics.
Now it's the next day and you're meeting your buddy. If you had to time to only share 1, 2 or 3 because you know your friend is an asshole and will cut you off after one sentence, which detail would you pick? If you said
1. You could be kinesthetic, meaning you favor your senses of touch. Sometimes emotional feelings get rapped up into this too, same with smell and taste(you know, since those guys don't really fall into anything in a lot of our lives, they just kind of chill in Kinesthetic's pad).
2. You could be auditory, meaning what you hear is how you primarily discern what the hell is going on in life.
3. You could be visual, meaning you want to see the "pics or it didn't happen".
I remembered learning about this concept in different context, mainly about learning styles. But for whatever reason, I always just considered "learning styles" to be based only in classroom settings. But when the spectrum opens up to everyday life, things start to make a lot more sense.
I'm an auditory, so subconsciously the first thing that registers to me in any new situation is what I hear. Whenever I was learning about the learning types, since I love music so much I convinced myself that it was proposterous that I could be anything but an auditory learner, while the thought secretly lingered like a guilty cheeseburger-run while being on a diet. But then when I started learning about this transferring over into life I was like "Holy shit! My life is almost nothing but auditory!" The concert scenario really "spelled it out" for me.
Because we have a "predominant" sense, I think a lot of times it leaves our other senses kind of standing idly, waiting to process something. Now that I am aware of the fact that I engage my hearing alone probably 75% of the experiences in my life, that I have to manually turn on my other senses and focus more on using them. For instance, for most of my life a sunny summer day to me was just like "cool, it's light out...I can get my Vitamin D in. Double score! Oh and it's warm so I can wear shorts. Awesome!" while my ears were giving my head its inner dialog that goes on constantly all day "dude it's summer! You hear that distant lawnmower? You hear those birds trying to get laid? You hear the sound of people driving to work while you sit at home on summer vaction, you sly self-unaware teenager you?"
Basically, I never really tuned in to my other senses that probably most people pay more attention to since my ears OBVIOUSLY do such a great job. (if I ever lose my hearing I'll be fucked. Somewhat of a sidenote- When you're like this, it makes reading a book kind of redundant sometimes, because I'd read a description of a place and all I'd basically do is just sum it up in different words. There wouldn't be a mental picture, there'd just be logic statements dictating what most likely is occurring. Maybe it's just me who does this, I don't know.) So now that I've become more aware of what's been going on in my life, I decided to start using these crazy white and brown things I found in these sockets on my face, and these sensations that come whenever my hands touch something. Obviously it's not like I never used them, but more like I never listened to them. They were always telling my brain stuff that were always like supporting paragraphs of a 2 page news story(nobody reads those things anyway).
So now, the second part of what I was interested in, was how we actually categorize all of this data we take in. Because we fall into one of the three groups, we categorize and prioritize things a bit differently. This can be seen in relationships and what people look for in them. What do most girls want in a relationship? Come on be honest. That's right, a guy with muscles, dark-skinned, dresses nice, and hopefully doesn't beat her death. This is because most people are visually based (58%). Now there are other factors that enter into this too, such as stimulating conversation, makes her feel safe and secure, listens to what she has to say, and puts up with her whining. But how people prioritize these things I think may have a strong correlation to their predominant sense.
These things are often a way we decide if someone is even worth talking to. For instance, whenever a person sounds like a what psychologists call "a fucking idiot", I don't really have much tolerance for them. Basically to me, a persons value and worth is 90% based on what they have to say. If they are funny/intelligent, I can look past their not-Kate-Beckinsale-face and non name-brand handbag. (This could be a reason we don't necessarily notice your new shoes or haircut, ladies!) But the minute they start saying stupid shit, acting immature, or being cliche I become disengaged entirely- all just because they demonstrate to my primal instincts that "this person fights bears with his/her hands." Which of course sounds awesome, but in practice is probably not the greatest idea.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Prop Psychology
As I was standing in line today waiting to get my Five Guys burger (which are little meat morcels of divinity), I noticed something that never really occurred to me- objects can steer our perception of the world, and the outcome of events. Consider the following situation:
You're in line at the grocery store with your friend and there's this hot girl/guy working the register. They ask how you're doing, scanning your groceries, and that's generally the end of the conversation (maybe ask if you found everything okay). You two are talking about something that other people would most likely have an opinion on, like how is Dancing with the Stars still on television. How inclined are you to strike up much more conversation past this point? It obviously depends on your personality, but compare your answer to this:
Your waitress comes over to ask what your having for dinner while you're with your friends. You're in the middle of some light-hearted debate- I don't know, maybe the age old debate of can communism truly exist in any civilization (okay, maybe something she'd know about like what's more manly, whiskey or beer)- how much more likely are you to actually talk to her now?
Now whether you realize it or not, there are multiple barriers in the first scenario that typically turn most people off from carrying on more of a conversation- those barriers are actually physical barriers. What seems interesting is that once you notice these things are here, it almost makes conversation beyond the basic greeting feel forced and uncomfortable. The girl behind the cash register will most likely clam up a bit more than the girl standing right by your table at the restaurant. What's interesting is that psychology dictates that when a person is standing over you that it's demonstrating a sense of dominance, and should theoretically make you feel less likely to talk to that person. But compare that to the grocery store where everyone is standing (an equal playing field) and all of a sudden that counter/conveyer belt/cash register becomes a sound-dampening window with two people struggling to communicate.
The other thing that crossed my mind is that when the first situation would happen to me, I'd go "Oh, well she's at work so she's thrown off guard by interaction beyond the pleasantries." But then that wouldn't explain the waitress who seems to always have an opinion about everything. Then the thought occurred to me, "maybe it's the type of people that apply to these different jobs". But both occupations are virtually the same- little experience required, no education required, interaction with customers. Sure waitresses get hired on looks, but girls with those same good looks can always be found as a cashier at somewhere and remain hushed when you're around them.
Lastly, perhaps the most likely reason, is monetary gain. Waitresses get tipped for being personable and bubbly. Therefore, they see a direct correlation between bubbly and hella cash. This could be true, but I can think of several occasions of friendly conversation with a girl in Home Depot or Best Buy out on the floor.
So my question basically is, are the "props" involved really causing this crazy social phenomenon, or is there some unwritten rule somewhere that these occupations can "talk to customers" but not "talk to customers"?
You're in line at the grocery store with your friend and there's this hot girl/guy working the register. They ask how you're doing, scanning your groceries, and that's generally the end of the conversation (maybe ask if you found everything okay). You two are talking about something that other people would most likely have an opinion on, like how is Dancing with the Stars still on television. How inclined are you to strike up much more conversation past this point? It obviously depends on your personality, but compare your answer to this:
Your waitress comes over to ask what your having for dinner while you're with your friends. You're in the middle of some light-hearted debate- I don't know, maybe the age old debate of can communism truly exist in any civilization (okay, maybe something she'd know about like what's more manly, whiskey or beer)- how much more likely are you to actually talk to her now?
Now whether you realize it or not, there are multiple barriers in the first scenario that typically turn most people off from carrying on more of a conversation- those barriers are actually physical barriers. What seems interesting is that once you notice these things are here, it almost makes conversation beyond the basic greeting feel forced and uncomfortable. The girl behind the cash register will most likely clam up a bit more than the girl standing right by your table at the restaurant. What's interesting is that psychology dictates that when a person is standing over you that it's demonstrating a sense of dominance, and should theoretically make you feel less likely to talk to that person. But compare that to the grocery store where everyone is standing (an equal playing field) and all of a sudden that counter/conveyer belt/cash register becomes a sound-dampening window with two people struggling to communicate.
The other thing that crossed my mind is that when the first situation would happen to me, I'd go "Oh, well she's at work so she's thrown off guard by interaction beyond the pleasantries." But then that wouldn't explain the waitress who seems to always have an opinion about everything. Then the thought occurred to me, "maybe it's the type of people that apply to these different jobs". But both occupations are virtually the same- little experience required, no education required, interaction with customers. Sure waitresses get hired on looks, but girls with those same good looks can always be found as a cashier at somewhere and remain hushed when you're around them.
Lastly, perhaps the most likely reason, is monetary gain. Waitresses get tipped for being personable and bubbly. Therefore, they see a direct correlation between bubbly and hella cash. This could be true, but I can think of several occasions of friendly conversation with a girl in Home Depot or Best Buy out on the floor.
So my question basically is, are the "props" involved really causing this crazy social phenomenon, or is there some unwritten rule somewhere that these occupations can "talk to customers" but not "talk to customers"?
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