Anyways, enough description of the self-awareness of this post for a second. What I am really trying to do here is sort of give a back drop of what I'm trying to accomplish here.
I am an author, songwriter, consultant, friend, tax payer, non-organ donor who has been thrown from
With that being said, I sure as hell hope I don't need to explain the name of the blog to you now. If however, your Jersey Shore-saturated mind can't figure it out let me illustrate it for you. I was at a work potluck lunch not too long ago and I assumed my regular position in such social occasions when I'm not really friends with anyone nor are there any moderately attractive girls around- I got my food, stood against the wall and listened to tidbits of conversations. I tend to do this a lot, and sort of piece together what I think people are like outside of work, outside the expectations of social interactions with people they don't know well. In doing so I picked up the following nuggets of information:
(blue denotes my off-topics, that of which are of extreme importance)
1. Even while on lunchbreak, for an event that is supposed to be "social" and to help promote bonding between coworkers, nine times out of ten people talk about work.
2. People tend to inflate their responsibilities and self worth incredibly out of proportion.
The first one I think is more of a nervous, don't-know-what-to-talk-about type of reaction. What could be safer, and be sure not to offend anyone than talking about work? Generally for me, if I'm not at my desk or in a meeting, the last thing on my mind is work...and I sure as hell don't want to talk about it. But hey, to each their own.
The second one is kind of evident when people start talking about their jobs and responsbilities- you hear them using terms like "nightmare", or "pile of work on my desk" or "overworked", or "anal rapeage" (okay, the last one maybe not quite as common in the C-level settings) when referring to what they've been doing with their time. Then these people often use that as an excuse to get out of the social gathering a bit early...the corporate dine-and-dasher. Being that I have virtually the same exact tasks as my colleagues of the same title, I tend to call bullshit. I sometimes wonder what it is they do that makes them take so God damn long on a 15 minute task? (blank stares at a powerpoint? I don't know)
Anyway, at said luncheon, this girl came up to me and told me "Hey, you look familiar, what's your name?" We had a meeting together a month or so ago and I told her that's where she knew me from. Then she told me, "You can't be a wallflower forever, come over and hang with us." It was at that moment that I had the self-realization, "Shit, I guess I am a wallflower." It wasn't because I didn't know what a wallflower was, nor did I necessarily think it was a bad thing, I just never really thought of that as being an accurate depiction of myself (which actually is a great one, seeing as I rarely talk in social conversations and retreat into my mind all the time).
The second part of title, Megaphone, is because the asshole with the megaphone gets his point across no matter how stupid what he's saying sounds. If the camp counselor tells you its time to make popsicle stick depiction of the Holocaust, you do it. If the cop at the Third Eye Blind concert tells you to put your pants back on, you do it. It's just that simple.
So here's to you, my devout reader, my pantsless concert goer, my socially-awkward luncher. I'm here as the wise old sage to pass down all of my grasshopper knowledge onto YOU.
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